The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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