Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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