I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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