if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
