dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
