Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
