Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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