For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
