idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
