your thong is hanging out like whoa
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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