I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize