It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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