plz talk dirty to me
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
