so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
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Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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