I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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