Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
