508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
