i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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