it wasn't lemon gatorade
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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