I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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