Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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