he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
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her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
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We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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