Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
