I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
