no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
