Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
