so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I puked a lego.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
