your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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