she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
