He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Small penises have feelings too.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
