apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
