remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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