He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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