Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
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..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
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If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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