i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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