U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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