when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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