YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
you win again, gameday.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
