she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I think your dad took our porno
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
