Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
