I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
