WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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