That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
