Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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