I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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