There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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