Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
