I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
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Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
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Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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