Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
