Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Alive.
So much puke
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
