sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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