I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She's the barista slut.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
