so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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