He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
