u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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