Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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