I seem to have left my pride at pride
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
