Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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