Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
