my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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