omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
